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Vasárnap este, olyan tizenegy, fél tizenkettő magasságában kedvem szottyant némi hamisítatlan Hungaricum, Túró Rudi elpusztítására. Ez a máskülönben hétköznapi fogyasztási cikk, amelyet oly sokan kedvelnek, minden magára valamit is adó élelmiszerboltban megtalálható. Kivéve persze vasárnap este.

A boltok természetesen zárva, maradnak hát az éjjel-nappali fosztogatók. Nem számít, ez most igazi vészhelyzet volt, a gyomrom egyre nagyobb korgások közepette adta a tudomásomra: Rudolfot akar. Gond azonban egy szál se, annyi hely van a közelben, hogy csak na! És hát, ha valamit biztosan tartanak, az a Túró Rudi.
Az első lehetőség máris ott virított a túloldalon, a mozi mellett. Beslattyogtam, kerestem a hűtőpultot, ám azon néhány darab kefiren és egy óriási halom citromos joghurton kívül nem láttam semmit. Reménykedve fordultam az eladó lány felé, ám ő kegyetlenül lelombozott: a Túró Rudi sajnos már előző nap elfogyott, de viszont van helyette joghurt. Citromos joghurt.
Elgondolkodtam, vajon akarok-e én citromos joghurtot a Rudi helyett, és megállapítottam, hogy nem. Persze azért furcsa volt, hogy miért van a boltnak szüksége ilyen mérhetetlen mennyiségű citromos joghurtra, és miért nincs annyi Túró Rudi, hogy az kitartson szó szerint a hét végéig, de aztán rájöttem, hogy különösebben nem is érdekel a téma. Az én nagy korgó problémámra nem nyújt megoldást ez a válasz.
Ekkorra már szabályosan éhes voltam, hajtottak az ösztönök a Túró Rudi után, ezek meg kenjék a hajukra a sok-sok citromos joghurtjukat! Máris indultam tovább, a következő célpont alig két saroknyira volt, ott biztosan lesz!
Aztán mikor beléptem, hiú reményeim egy pillanat alatt szertefoszlottak. Nem volt ott semmi, csak csipsz meg kóla, nápolyi meg Kinder tojás, csoki meg keksz. Az előző bolttól eltérően itt reményem sem volt, mégis rákérdeztem.
- Túró Rudi? Itt?! Az itt kérem sosem volt! – Nevetett a fickó, mintha legalább is arra kérdeztem volna rá, hogy adott-e el néhány ládányi plasztikbombát a terroristáknak.
Elnézve a képét nekem is kedvem szottyant volna egy kis hahotázásra. Még biztos új fiú lehetett itt, elvégre szeptemberben ugyanez a bolt tonnányi Túró Rudit kínált a betévedő vevőknek, ez a szerencsétlen meg itt vihog a saját tudatlanságán. Azért biztos, ami biztos, vettem egy tábla fehér csokit, különben, ha így folytatom, éhen fogok pusztulni.
Ekkor már igencsak morcos voltam, elvégre milyen dolog az, hogy nincsen sehol Túró Rudi?
A harmadik állomás egy keresztutcában volt. Ide jártam régen, amikor még nem volt minden sarkon éjjel-nappali, és most szent esküvéssel fogadtam, hogy ezután csak és kizárólag ezt a boltot fogom preferálni, ha lesz náluk Rudi.
Nos, volt. Volt mindenfajta Túró Rudi; mogyorós, csokis-vaníliás, csak csokis, barackos, epres, málnás, extra krémes és duplán csomagolt… csak éppen pöttyös nem. Sima, natúr, hétköznapi óriáspöttyös.
Ez az én formám, gondoltam. Csalódottan, megtörten, szomorúan és éhesen bandukoltam egészen hazáig, elvégre az olyan jól ismert jelenség már ki tudja hányadszor ismétlődött meg az életemben. Mindig ez van, mindig ugyanez a történet, ugyanilyen végkifejlettel.
Ám mielőtt bementem volna a kapun, váratlanul gondoltam egy merészet, és átmentem a túloldalra, a mozi mellé. Vettem két citromos joghurtot. Abból úgyis olyan sok van ott. Különben meg nincs is semmi bajom a citromos joghurttal, megeszem azt is, ha nincs jobb. És ezen az éjszakán nem volt.
Egyedül csak az eladólány furcsa mosolya lepett meg. Az a vidám, okos, mindentudó mosolya, amit próbált elrejteni, mikor meglátta a kezemben a citromos joghurtokat. Ő tudta. Előbb tudta, mint én. Kell az a raklapnyi citromos joghurt egy hűvös vasárnap éjszakára.

Jaj, de sok mindent kell még megtanulnom ebben az életben…
 
Sztakó Balázs
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